When you try to change yourself into a better one, perhaps it will be the hardest thing you ever face. You can fail and fail again, you can run and try again, yet you find that you have move nowhere from where you started.
I don't know, perhaps everything has their own time, or perhaps every understanding need their own moment to knock your heart, in time where a change shall occur naturally. No body know, not even you when you were busy struggling with your own self.